I created this platform to speak on matters that really made some impact on my life whether positive OR negative. I found that I began doing the same thing I often always do in person and completely divert from the things I truly wanted to speak on, and address only what is wholesome, positive and uplifting. The truth is that life is more than just wholesome, positive and uplifting. At many times it is completely opposite of those things. I wondered, what could it be that holds us back from touching on topics that really impact our lives whether it be causing us confusion in what direction to take, or completely inhibiting or prohibiting our ability to have good self-esteem. I believe a lot of us avoid discussing many things openly because we are not only afraid of being judged, but so worried about imposing on others. I didn’t understand the balance in that and the importance of being able to lean on others. If you are lucky to have these people in your life, you know how much of a difference being able to talk about things openly can make.
I want to use this platform to speak on the thoughts that weigh on my mind, be it positive or negative, in hopes to not only unify with others who may feel or think the same, but to gain some insight on how others cope or manage these thoughts.
I think one of the most debilitating thoughts that provokes low or bad self-esteem, is simply not being good enough. I struggle intensely with this thought, and how it applies to many aspects of my life. I have had low self-esteem since childhood. I was never very confident in anything, nor did I believe I was good at anything. PTSD has exacerbated and added immensely to this issue and it still lingers today despite many overcoming’s and therapy/rehabilitation.
Sometimes we just are not confident people. We are riddled with poor views on ourselves and the world around us. It can be hard just to go out in public because we are convinced and believe that others see us the same way we see ourselves. We are often afraid to try anything in fear of messing it up or causing catastrophe despite being successful at many things. We tend to always consider the negative and it almost has a front seat in our brain, and all accomplishments we have mad or anything good we have done sits way in the back in the very last row.
Being chronically ill has really taken a toll on my mental space and has left me feeling even more incapable and insufficient. I find that I am constantly paying attention to what I can’t do or what I am not doing well enough. My mind and body feel so disconnected at times and I can hear my brain telling me what needs to be done and my body is feeling like it cannot keep up, which causes my mind to go in overdrive and give me anxiety through the roof. I am always stressing myself about needing to push through pain and fatigue in fear of becoming lame, knowing that my brain needs physical stimulation and my body needs mental stimulation.
The inconsistency of symptoms creates this unstable and unpredictable way of life that makes it hard to accomplish, persevere and/or just be happy. One minute I could be getting home, unpacking and running around doing chores and then suddenly, an overwhelming sense of fatigue and pain sets in, as if it was already there and I was just to busy pushing through to notice. That’s what it’s like, constantly ignoring pain, fatigue, nausea, and crippling depression to make sure you get to work or finish the house duties. Sometimes I look at what I am doing and say to myself, “you are just doing laundry, a simple task many do, you should not be feeling this defeated.” My mind and body keep on feeding this vicious cycle.
The facts I fail to realize at the time are:
You worked 6 hours cleaning two large homes thoroughly.
You took care of your four-legged children and made sure they were happy, full and safe.
You ran into 3 different grocery stores to get the proper nutrition without killing yourself financially.
You swept the floor and washed the dishes right after you put your work gear away and started laundry.
You are chronically ill with diseases……
I begin to see all the things that I DID do, and I can then start to allow myself the ability to rest without judgement. I still feel the guilt, that doesn’t go away. I remain thinking of what more I could do, and then there is the anxiety I try to fight as I worry about what still needs to be done, but I have learned to allow myself to be ill and rest.
Chronic illness feels like imprisonment. That is the best way to describe it. Imagine, you have a stomach flu that is going around, and you are so sick that you can’t even think twice to get up, even for a night out and a feast of pizza or burgers and fries. You feel bored and crappy and often keep saying in your head how you never want to feel that way again. Then when that few days to weeks is over, you are so ready to jump out and to eat and do all the things you have been thinking about. Chronic illness is like that but with no guaranteed end. Maybe it will be months, maybe it will be years and for some, they are never free. That is one of the worst parts, the unknown. It is enough to drive you crazy!!! Often, that is exactly where you end up and it doesn’t make your physical well being any better.
Oh, and another thing you cannot do is have a social life. For the friends you still have that stuck around despite your inability to drink, eat normally at restaurants, go shopping (because you invested in your naturopath/dr., lack of working), stay up late, and the list goes on. This is where that important factor mentioned in the beginning comes into play; people to lean on. The fact is that not a whole lot of people are calling you up to ask you how you are feeling or wanting to know what is troubling you most and how they can help with that. The truth is many of them feel helpless too and they don’t know how to help you. Some people are gifts from God and they realize that you just need to vent, and possibly cry it out for a moment. You quickly learn to keep quiet so that you don’t ‘ruin’ anyone’s day. I was already an introvert by choice, but not being able to choose being alone makes it very depressing.
At the end of this, I look back at what I wrote here in this post and I see a constructive vent session that has temporarily freed me from these thoughts going around and round in my head. Maybe some of you can empathize and/or may have similar feelings now and I hope you here see that someone understands and is feeling just as confused, frustrated and upset. We are going to feel many things that are unpleasant, but the beauty of feelings is that they change. You will feel better again, and after maybe worse also, but you will always come back to good and that CAN become a familiar place for you.
Don’t pick out all the things you are doing wrong or unable to do, or but please do not forget to think of all that you are doing despite being inhibited by illness whether mental or physical. It doesn’t make things impossible, just harder. So, take your time and put your best into each day because that is all that anyone can do and that alone can be an accomplishment to remember!
Here’s A blog post that is a little more personal. I eventually want you, my readers, to get to know me in the realest, rawest way. I want you to feel good about the information that you read here in my words and know that they are coming from a real, honest, and experienced perspective.
I talk a lot about health and what good health can do for a person from the inside out. There is a system within all of us that depends on its counterparts and processes. Our job is to give it what it needs and remove what it doesn’t, for it to function at optimal level.
Detoxing is a very important process in the body but also, in the mind as well. It is so necessary to assist our compromised bodies in the systems to revitalize, build, shed, etc. We speak and study a lot about how to physically detox our bodies, and even many ways to detoxify the mind.
So, what about emotional detoxification? I don’t mean ugly crying out loud alone by yourself to rid of built up aggression, but changing behavioral patterns that cause yourself to feel bad emotionally. It’s the outlook you have on yourself that you get down on day to day, or the fear of being alone that keeps you in friendships or relationships that you do not want to be in,and cause your soul to be unhappy, and maybe even the shame for mistakes you have made in the past that prevent you from holding a higher standard of yourself. These thoughts, feelings and emotions can be exhausting. They skew our perspective on ourselves and that keeps us from having the confidence we should have!
When I hit 28 years old, I decided that I was going to change myself into the person that I desired in my mind but didn’t feel in my heart that I was good enough to be. I decided that I wasn’t going to keep friends that weren’t good for my soul and for my mind. I chose to avoid activities that were keeping me around the wrong people and kept me vulnerable to making bad decisions. It had taken me no time to see the correlation between how I felt and what I was doing and who with. Giving every piece of myself to things and people that would not have any impact on my life in a positive way.
I used to party a lot, I used to drink and eat in excess, and I had hundreds of ‘friends’ that I consumed my time with. I feel like I was so influenced by my surroundings and I didn’t even see it. I didn’t even really have an identity, I was just that girl who was at that club or spending all my time sitting around watching television and hitting up retail for therapy.
When I became chronically ill in my 20’s, I had to battle this newly developed requirement for my body to quit my lifestyle, and my desire to feel needed, or popular, maybe even just relevant. The illness took over and I was forced to become that sick person, in bed, always sleeping and whining. There is something inside all of us that wants to fight, if we become obedient to it, we can learn self-discipline to win.
Once I lost all the “friends” I had because I couldn’t go out to the bars and clubs, or I couldn’t get out of my bed and I didn’t see anyone coming to visit; it just left me there with myself in my own misery that I had been pushing down further and further with substances and unhealthy relationships. I was not a happy person and quite frankly, I didn’t really like myself. I spent nearly a year trying to live with myself and figure out when and how I got this way.
The great thing about realization is it allows us the mental capacity to change. It was all up from there. My 30’s have been the most healing thing that ever happened. When I freed my time of the bad association and activities, I had time to read a book, do some research, try an activity that I never had before without needing someone to do it with me. I realized how much I needed to grow and how thirsty my body was for positive reinforcement and strength. I began to treat my body the way I wanted it to treat me.
Diet, exercise, a few good friends, some family, and good spiritual healing have helped me to get where I am today; happier, healthier despite my conditions, strong, willing and hopeful. Two years ago, I also decided to take a vow of celibacy for religious/spiritual reasons. It is amazing how it has helped me learn myself so much more deeply. I met a lot of women who were doing the same thing and I had always felt ashamed to admit it until now. It was sad to me that a woman should feel vulnerable because she does not want to have sex. I found that this saved me a lot of time from dating because not many people want to date the woman who is not having sex until she is married. By abstaining from sex and dating, I was able to focus so much more on myself, and what I really thought I had to offer. I wanted to make sure that it wasn’t just sex, as that had been the reason I couldn’t leave bad relationships, or had ‘situationships’ as they call it, and I wasn’t interested in wasting anymore of my time or myself.
I found a value in myself that I don’t think I knew was there before. Not everyone is going to choose to abstain till marriage, but what I do recommend if you are single, is taking a good amount of time out and invest it in yourself. You start to see people a little more clearly, their intentions, and your own weaknesses. It built me up emotionally to where I feel like I can focus on the parts of me that need to be improved, so that I can approach dating in a new perspective with a higher standard on to how and to who I am giving myself, and why.
Shedding relations that didn’t add value to me, helped to also consequently rid of those emotions that were also involved. I had room for different emotions, ones that would encourage and enlighten me, and I was able to focus on my weaknesses that were controlling my life. It’s funny, it is kind of like a closet. We clean out our old stuff that doesn’t fit, or is outdated and not who we are anymore, to make room for the new and better-fitting clothes and shoes that represent who we are. We should be making room that same way in our lives for the things and people that are going to match the standard we are trying to reach. Search yourself for ways to make you happy. Be honest with yourself as to what you want out of your relationships with others and with yourself. Be opened to change and set goals, don’t give up. Don’t waste time feeling bad about changing if other people try to make you feel that way. Not everyone in your life will fit into your change in lifestyle and that is okay. It is your journey and you want to be worried about who is going to be there when you arrive to your destination. Let it all go. Once we gain a new perspective, we can make better decisions in where we spend our time and who we share ourselves with.
There are a million different jobs, thousands of diets, hundreds of competitions, and so many opportunities in this life. So what separates those who succeed in these various pursuits, and who does not? It is the biggest factor of all; effort. Yes, effort can be the determining factor in whether you get that promotion, whether you win that race, or if you are able to stick to a beneficial diet and exercise routine.
Effort is defined in the Merriam Webster Dictionary as, “conscious exertion of power: hard work or something produced by exertion or trying.” A conscious effort means that this is not just a physical attempt or use of effort. This is going to include the mind and the body’s power teaming together in hard work!
The effort required for success takes self-discipline. This is not something we were all just born with, but it is something that is learned, practiced and applied. It can be difficult because it is required in the daily thoughts and decisions we make, so it surely takes persistence. The desire for something is not enough, we all desire many things and yet we do not acquire or achieve it all.
There is an innate intelligence that we all possess that tells us what is right and what is wrong. We know when we are doing what we should be and when we are slacking off and allowing ourselves to become distracted by unhelpful thoughts or useless actions. It is important to always be the conductor of your life and keep your train on its tracks!
Waking up each day is a start; of course, we all wake up and get the same 24 hours, but it is what you do with yours that is going to get you to where you want to be. That self-discipline is going to depict how you devote that time and what you devote it to. The idea is to consider what your goals are, and then look at how you are spending most of your time. The thoughts and activities within your day should in some way include your goals and be proactive in making your progress towards reaching them.
I often like to over exert myself to getting priorities and more difficult tasks done first. This always helps to give me a sense of accomplishment which fuels my brain to generate thoughts and ideas on my next move. This also makes leisure time more enjoyable because I feel that sense of reward, which our brains work well with. The world is not going to always reward you for everything you do, if much of anything at all. It is important that you satisfy that need for reward because if you do not, life is going to seem like all work, and you will lose sight of the purpose of it all if you don’t. So, rest and downtime are surely important, but it is when we overindulge that we can feel that sense of laziness or underachievement. We want to be careful of falling into that rut because it can take even more effort and self-discipline to get out of, than it would to keep yourself ‘on track.’
So, push yourself, you are strong you can handle it. Remember, all good things are going to require effort. Nothing great comes easy, so don’t give up on the things you know are good for you because it is difficult. We tend to give up right about when it gets ‘too hard’ and then settle for something easier or give ourselves excuses as to why we don’t need or want it anymore. Although difficult at first, they will be worth the effort you put in, in the end. Persevere!
Take in life, to sustain life. We have all heard the saying, “You are what you eat.” Does anybody ever wonder where this came from or perhaps what it is referring to? It was in 1826 that Anthelme Brillat-Savarin said, “Tell me what you eat, and I will tell you what you are.” This is plain and simple, the literal sense how food affects us. The nutrients and enzymes that we take in from the food we eat, constitutes the structure and the function of the body and every single cell.
We also want to recall our father of modern medicine, Hippocrates who said, “Let thy food be thy medicine.” What he was trying to teach others, was exactly what many people like myself are trying to teach people still, today. Live foods are mostly plants that are in their closest to living form. The reason these are so vital is because we were designed to consume them. They are best in raw form, but cooked makes it easier to digest as our systems are more sensitive now than ever before. Due to the way our distribution of food is and considering the time it takes to get from ground/tree to table, cooking our food ensures that any dangerous microbes are rid of. Live, fresh foods are best and we want to get in as many of these as we can. Our bodies respond to all the live nutrients and enzymes that are packed in fruits, vegetables, grains and nuts.
Enzymes are important to aid in digestion and in metabolism. There are some 75,000 different kinds of enzymes. They play a very important role inside of cells. They are what drives the cell to carry out the chemical reaction, a million times faster than without them. It allows the cell to quickly build or take apart when needed. Some enzymes start the digestion process, some break down the food, and some run the body. A body without a proper intake of enzymes, will result in digestion issues.
So, what are nutrients and why is everyone always talking about them? Everyday you hear someone mention nutrition, but what exactly are nutrients? There are different nutrients, some are needed in large amounts and those are called macro nutrients. These include carbohydrates, fats, and proteins. There are also micro nutrients which are needed in lesser amounts, but still vital to the body and function. These include vitamins and minerals.
Why plants? They are full of everything that you need! There are many fruits, vegetables and grains that contain both enzymes and nutrients. Just by eating a salad with fruits, vegetables, nuts and seeds, and some olive oil on top with freshly squeezed lemon, you can provide your body with a plethora of vital nutrients and enzymes and watch the assimilation process to begin! The idea is to eat more of the foods that contain a number of these properties so that you are “covering more ground” per dish. For example, a plate with Quinoa, lightly steamed broccoli, black beans, sweet potato and avocado, contains macro nutrients, micro nutrients, and enzymes. The Broccoli contains calcium and Vitamin C. The sweet potato has Vitamin A and has carbohydrates. Quinoa is packed with protein, Fiber, Iron, magnesium, a little fat, folate, some copper, iron, zinc and potassium. The avocado is generously giving as well with fats, protein, Vitamin E, and enzymes! The black beans are super supportive with their protein and fiber. This is an excellent way to begin putting together plates that you can make a regular habit of consuming even just two times a day. Many easy snacks of seeds, nuts and fruit can be a good way to sustain energy and good health throughout the day in any work/home/outing situation.
One of the best things I ever did for myself, was to learn to love researching. I always did, but in school they often picked the topic. When they didn’t, it was exciting, and I was able to really take an interest in the information. Health must be significant to you for you to take pleasure out of not only learning it, but then practicing and forming healthy eating habits.
This by no means takes the fun out of food if that is what you are thinking!!! This is not restrictive as many think it is. Nobody is saying that this is all that you can eat. Of course, you can also in addition to these foods, eat some of your favorite not so nutrient dense foods. This helps your body to be able to obtain good health despite those other choices. I always say, it is not what you eat, it is what you are not eating that you must consider. If you are not eating fruits, vegetables, whole grains and seeds in abundance, how you can expect your body to do its job without the proper tools?!
So why plants?! I say, because they are here for your support and well being. Why wouldn’t we want to surround ourselves with that good nature? You are worth the best that this world has to offer, and that is what plants provide us with!
They say you only live once, so why not eat what you want, love who you want, etc.? I used to think this way only to realize it was excusing behaviors and habits that did not serve me well. If in fact we only live once, why would we want to live it suffering from consequences of the decisions we make? Because the truth is, all our decisions have consequences which is a good reason not to throw out any guidelines and in fact, a great reason to create more.
The truth is guidelines are hard to live by, but discipline is good!! It can keep us from being in a place where our whims tend to want to take us. There is this line of thinking that promotes carelessness and sporadic choices to suffice an impulsive behavior that we all know from experience, can get us into situations that make it hard to get out of if/when we choose, we may have made the wrong decision.
I am a firm believer in making the right choices. I was not always this way, in fact I used to never give a lot of thought to things that I would do or say. This included what I put into my body, who I let into my heart, and what took up space in my mind. I was not consciously aware of the correlation between my decisions and the inefficiencies in my life whether it be how I looked/felt, my relationships, or social activities. When I became chronically ill, it forced me to take a second look at myself and my choices; in people, in foods, in activities, in what I watched and what I listened to. All these things play a role in who you are, how you feel and how you view yourself and the world.
The easy way is our first inclination. We tend to veer towards guilty pleasures and desires of the flesh. It truly pays to be mindful of our choices and really to consider consequences because that is an aspect of life that we cannot erase. We are however given the opportunities and the tools needed to create our own happiness that is long lasting. We can do this through forming good habits and realizing that everything is a choice and we are always faced with making ones that will help or hurt us. The hard part is accountability for those choices. We have no problem identifying what we are doing right but seem to always be wondering why things happen to us, instead of maybe seeing the cause and effect of what we do and say.
Now nobody is at all perfect, so of course we are never going to always make the best choices, but a fair, honest effort is going to make you feel good about most good decisions you make and make it easier to not be so hard on yourself for failed attempts, which can also include indulgences. This is going to be different for different people also. For chronically ill people like myself, we must be stricter, and we have learned through experience that everything we do, eat, etc., influences us. Just enjoying one basket of fries and a soda can really cause mayhem for the next two days or so. We want to be careful that we are not comparing ourselves to others as to what we should be able to and not to do. This has been personally hard for me as I find myself just wanting to ‘live’ a little, but ultimately each time I pay dearly!
Time is a giver, not a taker as my Aunt says. Use it to benefit your decision-making process and really weigh out the benefits and losses of your choices. This can in fact help you to learn even more than mistakes can teach you. It will help you gain wisdom and really set a pattern for how you make future decisions. Don’t forget to reward yourself of course but be weary of glutton and indulging far too much. It may feel good at that moment, as instant gratification will teach us, however it does not always have a positive effect in the afterthought, so to speak. You are in control, and yes you only live once; so, make that life happy and healthy by using your power to choose, wisely!
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Some of us will never see ourselves as good enough. The world portrays this unrealistic need to be the best. This can leave some people hopeless, thinking that they are so far from being the best, that it is overwhelming to even try. Fear of failing sets in and distorts our perception of ourselves and we hardly see us as good enough; or even some believe they are in fact the best, only to be let down by what again, appears to be failure if they don’t “win.” Realistically, there is always going to be someone that is just as good or even better at something than you are. The ego causes us to be dissatisfied with being good and requires us to need to be the best. Black and white thinking can cause an ‘all or nothing’ attitude and make any variation of achievement seem insufficient.
This line of thinking can keep us from doing necessary things that allow us to grow and become better versions of ourselves. This ‘all or nothing’ thought pattern can make us avoid those paths that seem too tough to travel. If we make a goal of running a mile in under 7 minutes and a whole food diet everyday within the first week, when we can’t even put our running shoes on without being out of breath and eat bags of potato chips and frozen pizzas for dinner, then we may be setting an unrealistic goal for the perception that we have at that time. The transition will not only be not enjoyable but too overwhelming to even attempt and the chances of giving up or avoiding starting may be greater.
A really important step to change is truly understanding why you are doing what you are doing. If you are just making changes to fit a social norm, you may choose to rebel and become content with where you are justifying why you don’t need to change, despite the subconscious voice inside your head seeking better habits. If you just believe that the way you look is most important, you might be seeking results for the wrong reasons which can sometimes prevent progress. We do not want to set goals that are too out of reach . We should remember that everyone is beginning from a completely different “starting line” so there really are no winners and the only ‘loss’ is our failure to try. Eventually we all meet up around the same place which is a better, happier version of ourselves and there are benefit awaiting there for everyone!
You may first need to just put the sneakers on and get to the starting line. That is a huge step and you may not understand that till down the road when you look back and realize, that seemingly insignificant effort actually started your entire journey. No step is too small and that is vital to remember, because momentum is what keeps us going. There is a process of retraining neural plasticity when we are changing our habits to cease the old and begin new ones which requires repetition and consistency. Smaller increments can help us not to lose momentum and making changes obtainable while making the new habits regular and consistent in our lives which is how you create the new lifestyle of good health. Once you become strong enough in your habits, it gets easier to take breaks and assure yourself to continue the journey without quitting. You can always go back to bad habits, they will always welcome you with open arms, so trying a new way has no risks!
So being “the best” will not make you happy, because it doesn’t really exist. It is a facade and is unattainable which leaves you feeling insecure and over competitive. Good health is not a competition, it is a sole journey and should not be compared to others in determining whether you are succeeding or not. Try not to be consumed with what others are doing that you can’t do, because maybe you haven’t gotten to that point yet, but you might very well have the potential manifesting within you. The goal is to just become better than you were and supportive of who what you are striving to be; healthy!
Let me first say that I am no doctor, scientist or even nutritionist. Everything I have learned through research has been to gain knowledge and through experience, apply these lessons to reach the goal of functionality and optimal health. I knew to understand what was going wrong within my body, I first must understand how my body is supposed to function. We are so far from optimal health, that we may have never known what it truly is. But there is one teacher that I entrusted to help sort things out, and that was my body’s own innate intelligence. I realized I had never really known myself from the inside out and missed all the messages my body was trying to send me. Have you ever had someone trying to warn you of something, perhaps maybe your parents or teachers, and you chose to ignore them because you either thought they didn’t know better or you just flat out were not interested in hearing any input? To then only realize at some point that said person(s) were trying to warn you or inform you of something that you maybe should have listened to and could have prevented you from getting into certain situations? Well, one’s own body can also be this very person. We forget to trust the system, or the “voice” within and its ability to know what it needs or does NOT need! This was true for myself, and I paid dearly for it. It wasn’t until after I stopped ignoring these warnings that I was able to understand my body’s needs and wants.
In modern medicine, one of the most common terms we hear of is “symptoms.” What are symptoms? According to the ‘Oxford English Dictionary’ a symptom is “A physical or mental feature which is regarded as indicating a condition of disease, particularly such a feature that is apparent to the patient.” Did you see that last part? Let me say that again for you, “…particularly such a feature that is APPARENT to the PATIENT.” This is your body communicating to you. When you go to see a medical professional, you are seeking out help to understand the symptoms that you are experiencing and find a resolution. But more importantly we would want to find the underlying cause. Often medicine treats symptoms and the underlying cause is not always found. Symptoms are the body’s way of telling us that something is wrong or not working properly and we must not ignore or discredit this message.
We tend to pay most attention to our outer appearance. We tend to understand it more, and because we can visibly see ourselves in this light, it is evident when something goes wrong. When I first learned that something was horribly wrong with my health, it was because my skin suddenly broke out in a horrible rash/cystic acne all over my face; it wasn’t my gastrointestinal issues that raised a ‘red flag’ and I chose to ignore or the pain I was feeling in my upper extremities and back which I fed myself pills for the pain that were prescribed my doctor. This specific symptom of my skin caused me so much anxiety and distress because it was clearly visible and evident that my appearance had been flawed. I became very insecure and started to feel sorry for myself because I was at the time, the sort of person who felt my outward appearance was most important. This is when I began to learn the most valuable lessons. I spent weeks in and out of the Doctor’s office desperately seeking an antidote for this horrendous ailment. The protocol of course would be sending me off to the skin doctor, and that is when the ‘light bulb’ turned on.
The Dermatologist decided that he would prescribe me scrubs, creams and topical solutions for my skin. I will never forget when he said, “be sure not to use your favorite pillow case, as the cream I am giving you will bleach your pillowcase.” I was dumbfounded, then a moment of clarity came over me. I would walk out of the office and never be the same again. I left all the prescriptions he called in, right there at the pharmacy. I continued the antibiotic that my primary care physician prescribed me and went into full blown Nancy drew mode. I began to investigate the cause of my skin problems and not resort to bleaching my face or pillowcase! I realized through research that my skin was the largest organ in the body and its dysfunction could be a result of many different issues. I realized that to learn what the dysfunction was, I would need to know how it was supposed to function. I spent a lot of time inside my house alone and realized that I had a lot more problems going on besides my skin, but that I had just finally decided to stop and listen and could no longer ignore these issues.
I was embarrassed and ashamed, often keeping myself out of sight. This forced me to spend a lot of time with myself and realized I did not like who I was very much at all and that my body was very unhappy. I started to see how much dysfunction and “dis-ease” I hosted and was determined to change that. It was a very long and tumultuous expedition, but it led me to where I am today. I have become my greatest lesson learned and with that have been able to gain a better quality of life and a vast amount of knowledge and experience to help me maneuver through disease. This made all the difference in spending the following 8 years not being subdued by disease, but progressively fighting it through trial and error, learning what works and what doesn’t, by listening to responses in my body and understanding the state that it was in, what it needed and what it didn’t, what it was able to do and what it could not do, and how well it was able to digest or absorb nutrients.
I spent those 8 years in and out of hospitals, doctor’s offices, and alternative treatment centers trying to find the answers for my ‘dis-ease’ and all efforts went not only unfound, but I was told it was all in my head. I will be honest, that there were times I doubted myself and my system’s inner warnings. However, something kept telling me that I needed to continue seeking answers, and it is a good thing that I did. I have recently been diagnosed with Lyme disease and Rocky Mountain Spotted Fever (RMSF). To go untreated with RMSF is dangerous and can result in death. My body was trying to stay alive and that is something worth listening to. The body has an incredible will to live and all this time I thought my body was failing, but it was really hanging on and persevering. What an incredible creation the human body is!
The most important start to any lesson learned, is first listening! You can be your greatest teacher if you just hear what your own body is trying to tell you. Slow your body and thoughts down a bit and really become mindful of the function of your body and then find your weaknesses and strengths. Take that information and do something with it. You have the power to assist your body in its healing process, because without be consciously aware of your impairments and/or weaknesses you cannot help yourself. Our bodies suffer a lot of damage by what we eat, see, breathe, and also what we don’t do for it. It is never too late to obtain good health and by healthy communicating with yourself, you are developing the skills to create and enjoy one of the best relationships you will ever have, body and mind!
Health, Love, and Food... All A Girl Could Ask For... 